English & Dicipline
Speaking Manners
Introduction:-
Your personality reflects when you speak. Your speaking style, politeness always show the good side of your character. If you don’t follow the manners, you may fall in false position, which may be disgusting or even funny to others and a little bit unpleasant for you. So, don’t let the manners to stand on the way of leaving your good impressions on others ! But how ! Don’t worry! Here are some tips for you.
- Think things out before you speak, especially if you are a person who may be poor at finding the right words to say. Don’t start a sentence, with ‘ums’ and ‘ers’ in between, it seems awkward and you should try speaking to yourself in a mirror, it works! It increases your confidence in speaking, and it sounds much clearer; you may find you’ll be using fewer ‘ums’ and ‘ers’ next time!
- Don’t speak loudly. You will quickly lose respect if you do, as this can be seen as overbearing and rude. It can also make other people angry and upset with you before you even establish some kind of relationship with them. They will see you as a ‘big mouth’! and therefore someone who cannot be trusted with anything confidential. So practice at turning your volume down if you tend to have a loud voice.
- Speak with respect to and of others. You can do this by avoiding negative remarks that may insult someone else. Do not use expressions or theoretical examples that imply disrespect or degradation or that invite people to imagine offensive scenarios, such as “what is up your butt?” or “how would you feel if someone…” followed by a description of violent or degrading acts. You may not intend this as offensive, but it is. General rule is: if you don’t want someone to speak about you that way, then don’t speak this way to others.
- Don’t ever speak of bodily functions, such as using the bathroom or telling crude jokes, even if it is a casual conversation, for this shows signs of immaturity and often makes a bad impression on friends, family, and co-workers.
- Always respect older people, and listen to them and learn. This applies to all elders and not just parents or grandparents.
- Using the terms ‘Thank you’, ‘Please’, and ‘You’re welcome’ shows that you have good manners. People who lack manners do not use these terms.
- Hold open a door for anyone following you closely. This is a sign of good manners and has never changed. There are no strict gender rules in this day and age.
- Speak highly of your parents and show respect for them, even if there are things about them that you do not like. If you cannot do that, avoid speaking about them at all around others. It looks tacky to insult or speak badly of the people who brought you into this world or raised you. Don’t air dirty laundry about your family. It’s tacky and rude.
- Do not swear or use filthy language and curse words. It’s unprofessional! People who do this are usually very immature and have no self-control or respect for themselves and others! Eventually, you’ll see that bad words are not appropriate and you’ll begin to feel more comfortable avoiding them. Profanity is a sign of an angry person and it puts people off you immediately as its very distasteful and offensive. Using decent vocabulary gives the impression of intelligence, self-respect and character.
- Greet others appropriately even if you know someone well. If you are a man, you do not want to greet a woman by saying, “Hey Baby, what’s shaking?” Instead, try something like, “Hello, good morning or evening,” anything that would make you appear to have good manners and good sense.
Try to show that you are interested in the person you are speaking to by asking them questions about themselves. Don’t steal their spotlight by just talking about yourself. You don’t want to come off as selfish. If you continually talk about yourself, it will quickly bore people and they will try to avoid any future conversations with you.
- Pay attention to how you carry yourself. In other words, act like you have some class, which goes hand in hand with manners. Don’t slouch; have a neat appearance; shake hands firmly [not limply, people can generally tell what you may be like by your handshake], be clean and smell clean [use some deodorant under your arms! Bad odour can be an unpleasant experience to others], hold your head high and don’t hide behind dark sunglasses inside or wear other “trying to be cool” looks at the wrong time; it gives the impression of arrogance and immaturity.
Don’t put other people down, belittle them, or spread gossip. Never openly criticize someone in an attempt to put them down or to make yourself look better. If you wouldn’t like people speaking about you that way, then don’t do it yourself! Be complimentary and positive, for example, avoid critizing an article that someone has written. Their grammar and spelling may not be as good as yours but they did put forth a positive effort. Having an opinion is one thing, but being insulting is a sign of bad manners.It is never polite to tell secrets in front of someone. If someone else is gossiping or belittling a person, show you understand in a neutral way (a small nod to show you comprehend or an “mmhmm” should do) and then go on to compliment that person on something as closely related as possible.
- Don’t interrupt, cut off or override another person who is speaking, even if it is a casual conversation [unless they are insulting or swearing etc...]. Give the person respect and try to let them finish what they are saying; in other words, be a listener! And practice being a good one!
- Ask for clarification properly. If you did not hear something that an individual has said, or if you need something clarified, consider using “Could you say that again for me, please?” or “I’m sorry?” Avoid solely using the word “What?” as it tends to come off as brash and unrefined
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